Torrefaction

Well, the adoption process is now underway.  We sent our signed agreements & first fee to CCAI, and made our first appointment with our social worker at LCFS.  That'll be in about a week and a couple days after that we're getting fingerprinted by Identix.  As I understand it these fingerprints are for the state of Illinois, not for USCIS--they'll do more fingerprints later.  Our "already done" list is growing but only at about half the pace of our "to do" list.  Get more smoke detectors, put a banister on the basement stairs, update the cat's vaccinations, update our own vaccinations.  Hub has to shave his beard before we take our passport pictures since he only wears it in cold weather, and we don't know what time of year we'll ultimately be traveling. 

Even though the to-do list contains many steps that are about getting ready to have a baby in the house, this feels nothing at all like being pregnant, as I understand it anyway.  If a pregnant woman does absolutely nothing, the pregnancy will most likely continue and produce a baby.  Yes, there's steps you should take to ensure the baby's health and a safe delivery, but most pregnancies will move forward without any particular assistance.

The adoption process, on the other hand, will completely halt at any time if I just fail to do one of the steps that's required of me.  This creates a wee bit of pressure.  My internal voice says "if you don't get that check sent right away, you'll never have a baby!" or "if you don't find a good day care center before the home study starts, you'll never have a baby!"  I suspect my internal voice is a bit panicky and needs to just chill, but I keep pushing forward at a frantic pace anyway...all to get into a nearly yearlong queue.   

I keep reminding myself that this situation actually does revolve around a pregnancy...someone else's.  The mother of my future child is probably pregnant right now, and my responsibility is no different than if I'd met her and she'd planned to place her child with me.  We'll probably never actually know anything about each other (although I hope someday we might) but if I think of this as a partnership it's easier to do my bit calmly.  It's not easy to be evaluated by strangers and to jump through so many hoops, but must be a thousand times easier than what she's going through, and will go through.

[archive transplanted from my old blog]

Right now it feels like I'm reading everything ever written about adoption, China, and China Adoption. 

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption

The Unnoficial Guide to Adopting a Child

Raising Adopted Children

The Lost Daughters of China

From China With Love

...and that National Geographic DVD that everybody watches, China's Lost Girls.

Hub and I are both distressed by what we're reading and watching about the abandonment of girls in China, and the role of women in China in general.  To offset this, I'm trying to take big heaping helpings of the things I like and admire about Chinese culture.

China: History and Civilization

Chinese Fairy Tales & Fantasies

Hero (the movie)

Chop Socky movies in general

Whatever TIVO can find with the word "China" in it

When I don't have a book in hand, I'm reading blogs. China adoption blogs, infertility blogs, domestic adoption blogs, general parenting blogs, birthmom blogs.  A few of the good ones:

A Little Pregnant

The Naked Ovary

Afrindie Mum

Paragraphein

Life Under Calico Skies

Do They Have Salsa in China?

Once I finish the stack of books I'm already reading I'll kick back with a couple of multi-volume Chinese classics, and a few more adoption books.  And somehow I'll have to squeeze in my normal quota of SF & Fantasy reading, so I don't go completely crazy.