Having an only child, being an only child (my first poll, whee!)

[marydell]

So now that we have wonderful baby #1, we're starting to think about baby #2.  There are various things pulling us toward adopting another child , but now that we have Charlie we're starting to think that we might all be happiest  as a family of three.   So, my first ever poll!  And I'd love to hear about your own experiences in comments.[Poll #1295231][Poll #1295231]

Comments

[kouredios.livejournal.com]

I didn't check anything in the second poll because I'm wondering the same thing these days. If I hadn't miscarried, I'd have a newborn right now...but with PhD stuff going full swing again, I'm pretty happy with just Cassie, being almost 4 and rather self-sufficient. I'll be interested to see what your results are.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I'm a double-only: the only child of an only child.

What sorts of things do you want to know about our experiences?

[marydell.livejournal.com]

I put up a new post with a bunch o' questions. Thanks!

[pnkrokhockeymom.livejournal.com]

Here's the thing, lest my answer be ambiguous. Puppy is an only and he's 14. I want another. But I don't want another because I wish I'd had another back then, or because it wasn't great for Puppy, or anything like that. I want another *now*, because all of my maternal-ness is kicked up to x1000 lately.

I am happy to discuss Puppy's life as an only with you any time.

[marydell.livejournal.com]

I put a bunch of questions up in a new post :)

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

no kids currently, hoping i can work out a way to have two.

[marydell.livejournal.com]

I hope you can too! IIRC You're a relative youngster (compared to me, lol) so once you get #1 you'll have some time to work out the plan for #2.

[(Anonymous)]

I am from a family of three and we have three children. I like having a larger family because of the way people interact and the chaos level that occurs. For me, there is a sense of control when there is only one or two children that I find constraining. With three (or more, but my husband doesn't want to go there), there is enough going on that I don't delude myself with the idea that I have control and I can enjoy the parts of each they want to share.

Heather Orser

[fledgist.livejournal.com]

I'm a firstborn, which means that for the first four (well, almost four, my younger brother was born when I was 3 years 10½ months old) years of my life I was an only child. My father, who was not a firstborn, told me that I was a bad boy for being upset at having another child enter the family.

I am the parent of two children, both now more or less grown (if you count 23 and 20 as grown). I just talked to one of my graduate examiners last week, now teaching at the college my younger son is attending who said 'Youhave a child here? I'm getting old.'

[mirrorshard.livejournal.com]

Snowflake: I'm associated with a poly family containing a small child. (Up to about a week ago, when it abruptly acquired small child's two teenage sisters.)

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

I was an only child for 3 years, being the eldest. I don't remember how I took having a brother come into the fold.

[ashnistrike.livejournal.com]

I'm the oldest of 2. I'm definitely glad that we were both there, although we fought a lot at the time (when we weren't staunch allies). We are hoping for 2, with 5-6 years in between.

[marydell.livejournal.com]

Ah, a 5-year gap would be great...

[ashnistrike.livejournal.com]

Being in the same schools at the same time would have significantly increased sibling rivalry between my sister and me. Even six years apart, there was that one time when a teacher pulled out an old essay of mine to show her. We were both pretty deeply embarrassed. And it would certainly have stressed my parents if we were both in college at the same time...

[gryphynshadow.livejournal.com]

I'm the oldest of two; my brother is 18 months younger than I. Two of my friends down here are also doubles, girls, with younger brothers. We all had very similar experiences growing up.

The older sibling will protect the younger one, and provide some form of 'extra parent'. I mean, some caretaking, some guidance type stuff. All three of us, our younger brothers came out... hm, well, not less damaged, cause the damage of being human isn't really measured that way, but maybe damaged in different ways.

Us older ones, we had more pressure to succeed, to perform, to be perfect. The younger ones got to be much more laid back about that stuff. I think the parental units shot their wad on the older ones, and by the time the second kid came along, they were ready to just let them do their thing.

On the poll up there, I checked that I both have no kids, and have multiple kids. Cause, the way my brain seems to work, while I have no bio kids, I am in the lives of four small humans! They don't live here full time, but I see them on a regular basis, and get to interact with them on more than a casual level.

I think, either having two kids, or finding ways to let a single interact closely with another kid or kids is great. They learn so much from watching each other, and the relationships they form! It's awesome.

Good luck with your decision making, and just remember, there is no wrong choice. You either love two kids, or you love just one and lavish your attention on him. Hugs!

[unhappytriad.livejournal.com]

I have 3 sibs, but since they were 20, 17 and 12 when I was born, I spent most of my childhood as effectively an only child. So I kind of have a foot in each camp.