International Whore Barbies!

[marydell]

I adore dolls, and I sort of enjoy the particularly awful ones, although I mostly don't buy the particularly awful ones.  Except for when I simply must - I think I have Native American Barbie and Pioneer Barbie around here somewhere, as well as Pilgrim Barbie, who thanks to her red dress has been modified by yours truly to be Scarlet Letter Barbie.  

Anyway, they're really pulling out all the stops for the 50th anniversary many-nations Barbies.  So far I've only seen three, but oooo, they are simply delicious in their awfulness, and portray our international friends in the best possible light.  (Pictures linked from Angelic Dreamz, which is a very nice store. Don't blame them! )

France:


Scotland (this one's for you, haddayr )



And, um. Amazonia Barbie:


 

Comments

[icecreamempress.livejournal.com]

My jaw dropped.

HELLO MATTEL COMPANY. THIS IS THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY SPEAKING. PLEASE TRY TO CATCH UP KTHXBAI

[txanne.livejournal.com]

Holy fucking shit. Six hours of no Internet and I come back to THIS? Eeeergh.

[marydell.livejournal.com]

See what happens when you leave me to my own devices?

[pixelfish.livejournal.com]

W. T. F.



(Incidentally, do you have a picture of Scarlet Letter Barbie? I would like to see. I once turned my sister's Barbie into a Klingon using Silly Putty.)

[elettaria.livejournal.com]

*blinks* Which planet is Mattel on? And shouldn't cross-dressing pseudo-Scottish Barbie have a knife stuck down her sock? (Well, I know that technically there are tartan outfits for women, but since I have lived in Scotland for thirteen years and never seen one in the flesh, while I've seen umpteen men in kilts, I can never quite remember how they look. They're certainly not traditional.) Also they seem to have muddled "French" with "fetish". The only thing I will permit myself to say about the third is are those seed beads?

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

I should probably get mad, but I dissolved into hysterical giggles. They're just so... ludicrous.

[seawasp]

Clearly they have carefully studied their market, especially the Amazonia Barbie.

What? They're NOT targeting the middle-aged men and teenage boy demographics?

oh mattel.

[klgaffney.livejournal.com]

international whore babies of mystery!

ahem. oh man. these are so TERRIBLE they go right back around to amazing--and terrible. *cackle* i have to share the cross-dressing scot with the mil. WHY are they insulting france like that? and why did i never think to paint bad tribal tats on my sister's dolls?

seconding the request for a photo of the scarlet letter barbie. =D

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

I have to confess I think Scottish Barbie is super cute.

But can they provide her in different Clan Tartans?

[marydell.livejournal.com]

There's a 1991 Scottish Barbie in Red (http://www.barbiecollector.com/showcase/product.aspx?id=150436&t=modern&y=t150098&sort=name), but she's way too demure. Also she's not holding a bagpipe so there's no way to tell that she's Scottish...

Re: oh mattel.

[marydell.livejournal.com]

I'll dig her out and take a pic...

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

Actually, this version looks a lot more like the traditional Scottish hostess dresses I've seen for sale online and that I've seen Scottish-American women wear for formal occasions.

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

Ah ha! Here's one:

http://www.scotweb.co.uk/sr_swhdr_hostess?display=all

[marydell.livejournal.com]

That's a very pretty piece of tailoring. The 1991 Barbie version is a standard gathered skirt, which makes it much too much like a walking carpet. I was going to say that Barbie looks like she's wearing a horse blanket, but then I googled "tartan horse blanket" and found that they also embody pretty tailoring, so I can't say she looks like that.

The new barbie seems to be dressed as a cross between a Scotsman and a Japanese schoolgirl. Also, her pipes are teeny-tiny, like uilleann pipes. But these things make me like her even more...I love the tacky ones the mostest.