marydell | Distribution of Resources

A truth that continually weighs on me, concerning adoption, is that it's always, at some level, a matter of resources. In every case, the adoptive parents have a resource that the biological parents don't have. Love is very seldom what's lacking. Money, a stable partnership, a supportive family, a flexible job, physical health, mental health, energy, time, age, independence, desire, certainty...any of these can play a part. Usually money is the bottom line, of course. Before adopting Charlie I would have said that money is always the bottom line.

Adopting across cultural lines is complicated. Adopting across national and cultural lines is even more complicated. And cross-cultural, international open adoption? Boy howdy. I'm overwhelmed just trying to get my head around it. There are resources that I have, that I never even thought about as resources. Charlie's birth parents love him so much, but they don't have the same resources as me. So I'm in this place of feeling completely unentitled to this perfect child, at the same time as truly believing (as they do) that he'll have a better life with us. This is the unjust world we live in.