marydell: My hand holding a medusa head sculpture (by me) that's missing its snakes (Charlie)
[personal profile] marydell
Charlie started day care today.  I was pretty emotional all day, more with worry than with guilt, though.  I don't feel guilty about working but I do feel sad that life requires this choices--I was definitely feeling it as a sacrifice.  But I know that if I was home with him, I'd be feeling the sacrificial quality of THAT.  I got through the day by focusing a whole lot on my ideas about the totality of his life and mine and Mike's --what we want to accomplish, what we want to give Charlie, and so forth.  But still it was tough.

For Charlie, thank goodness, it wasn't tough at all.  After days of (him) hollering and crying because of reflux and other internal misery, we put him on Zantac and some other stuff and he had a good night and a good day at last.  I hate putting him on drugs so young but even the anti-reflux formula wasn't getting him to the point of being really happy.  I don't want "not screaming" to be the best mood my baby can experience...although it suffices for many of us adults!

Anyway, he was good for the folks at day care, and he is a very cute baby so they were excited to have him there--I put him in a really sweet outfit so that even if he was horribly fussy he'd still be cute.  Gotta work the cute, particularly when he's getting to know his new caretakers.  At the end of the day when Mike picked him up, they gave us a log of his day that includes his moods and they'd circled "happy" and triple-circled "adorable" so YAY.   I even got to have some non-cry time with him myself, for the first time in a few days, so DOUBLE YAY.
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