Advice for Mothers

[marydell]

Dear more-experienced moms, here are some tips to keep in mind when talking to a new mother.

1. "Expensive" means the same thing to everybody, regardless of income or priorities. Be sure to point out if her choice of formula or clothing brand is too expensive.

2. Your stroller, sling, and other carrying devices are empirically better than hers. Help her to understand why her choices are wrong. Disregard any height/weight differential between yourself and her.

3. For any parenting choice she's making that's different from yours, say "oh, we'll see how long you manage to stick with that!"

4. If she adopted her child, any choices she makes differently from you can be explained by her "not having hormones."

5. Working is ok, but dedication to a demanding & lucrative career isn't appropriate for a mom. Suggest that she change to some other kind of work, more like whatever you do. Her husband should, of course, continue his similar career without modification...someone has to pay the bills!

Comments

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

Meanwhile, I was in the Bay Area last week and I taught my 1.5-year-old nephew the thumbs-up sign.

[marydell.livejournal.com]

Awesome! Next you can teach him the "terrorist" fist-jab!

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

Well, his parents might object to that, but who knows, since he's growing up in a family of Democrats, which means he'll be brain-washed into hating America, of course. For now, his dad has already taught him how to do a high-five.