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1. diaper changes, in general, are bad, but expecting a person to lie down for one is ridiculous. If you can't change my diapers while I'm standing up, I'd rather you just skipped it entirely. What's that? You say I can't stand up without you holding me, which makes it difficult to change me? Oh, you "need both hands" to put a diaper on a wiggly toddler? Cry me a river, Mom.
2. When I indicate, through inarticulate screeching, that I want that thing on the other side of the table that I can't reach, you persist in giving me the wrong thing, or saying "no, you can't play with medicine bottles/electrical parts/batteries/wheat-based food items/plastic bags/pop cans/etc. Stop leaving interesting things on the table if you're not going to give them to me!
3. This "time-out" thing is for the birds. Just because I am throwing a giant tantrum and attempting to scratch you in a studied, deliberate fashion doesn't mean I should have to go in my crib...I mean, seriously. What is that about. Hey, Mom, did you know you have a big scratch on your collarbone? Where did that come from? It's interesting. *poke poke*
4. Spinach. What the fuck are you thinking? *Hork*
5. Sometimes the sippy cup has grape juice in it, and sometimes it has water in it. Are you messing with me?
6. Get that nail clipper away from me! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
2. When I indicate, through inarticulate screeching, that I want that thing on the other side of the table that I can't reach, you persist in giving me the wrong thing, or saying "no, you can't play with medicine bottles/electrical parts/batteries/wheat-based food items/plastic bags/pop cans/etc. Stop leaving interesting things on the table if you're not going to give them to me!
3. This "time-out" thing is for the birds. Just because I am throwing a giant tantrum and attempting to scratch you in a studied, deliberate fashion doesn't mean I should have to go in my crib...I mean, seriously. What is that about. Hey, Mom, did you know you have a big scratch on your collarbone? Where did that come from? It's interesting. *poke poke*
4. Spinach. What the fuck are you thinking? *Hork*
5. Sometimes the sippy cup has grape juice in it, and sometimes it has water in it. Are you messing with me?
6. Get that nail clipper away from me! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
