Fertility detectors

[marydell]

I was cleaning out the linen closet recently and discovered one of the weirder artifacts of our excellent infertility adventure:  the Maybe Mom ovulation detector.  This is a little microscope that you use to look at a dried sample of your saliva, to see if there are fernlike patterns in it that indicate ovulation. Seriously.  No, really! It was about 40 bucks and I could never see a darn difference in my dried saliva, but I suspect the combination of my impatience (spit takes an amazingly long time to dry, when you're watching it) and the general hilarity of the concept made me not a great test subject.  Also, if you're already ovulating, you have missed your optimum sperm-depositing window anyway, since it's better to have the sperm hanging out up in your fallopian tubes waiting for the egg to arrive. Or so I am told.  

Anyway we eventually moved along to the much more expensive ($149), much more useful Clearblue Fertility Monitor, which uses a daily pee test to chart your levels of Lutenizing Hormone, and thereby detect the LH spike that immediately precedes ovulation.  Once the spike is detected, you're supposed to have sex within 12 hours; within 6, preferably.  Because it was a little computer that was arbitrarily telling us to have sex, we named it Landru and would say "festival, festival!" to announce a LH spike detection.  You gotta take your fun where you can find it.

Comments

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

That is just weird.

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

Once the spike is detected, you're supposed to have sex within 12 hours; within 6, preferably.

It's a must.

[fledgist.livejournal.com]

'Pon my Farr!

[carbonel]

Because it was a little computer that was arbitrarily telling us to have sex, we named it Landru and would say "festival, festival!" to announce a LH spike detection.

That made me giggle. I've seen that episode way too many times.