Favorable Mainstream Media Article About Polyamory

[marydell]

Hey, poly friends, check this out: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29239960/

The headline says "husbands" and some of the framing material says "polygamy" but the article itself says "polyamory" and is a nice personal account of a poly family.

(Um, I didn't read the comments, so they may be full of suck)

Comments

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

That is a nice article! And I like that they used both "polygamy" AND "polyamory" in the story -- since what they're describing is decidedly a multi-partner MARRIAGE, "polygamy" is accurate, where either "polygyny" or "polyandry" would not be, but it certainly falls under the broader umbrella of "polyamory" as well.

Don't mind me, I like the anthropology aspect, as well as feeling smug about my own current poly situation -- which is of a nature where, if my boyfriend doesn't answer his phone, I can call his wife and say "I don't know if he's in the shower getting ready for our date or something, but..." and then go on to outline a logistical suggestion about where to leave my car. (Turns out he was sitting next to her and his phone was upstairs on the charger.) And, when I come in, dig out five CDs from my overnight bag that I'd promised her she could rip copies of, since she used to own them and lost them in her divorce.

Okay, maybe I'm just smug because I actually had a DATE. The only problem with my current dating situation is the long-distance aspect.

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

Yeah; don't read the comments.

I like the article, though.

I HATE comments that are all "think of the children."

Because serially monogamous parents have such a great track record! BAH.

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

Actually, I read further down in the comments and they were worth reading. A few morons who said it was "sick" and "oh woe whut about the children" but that's it.

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

Yeah, think of the children. They might wind up in a situation where many people love them. The horror. The horror!

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

I'm monogamous but friends with several poly folks. Whenever we go to visit one group in particular, my son hints broadly for a week that it sure would be nice to have another parent around here!

[browngirl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, why doesn't anyone ever say "think of the children" as in "think of the extra people they have to take care of them"?

But the article itself is nifty indeed. Thank you, Mary!

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

I see that your son's middle name is Subtlety. Heheheh...

[marydell.livejournal.com]

Also being monogamous isn't the same thing as having only 2 parents per kid. Particularly if you're serially monogamous. I'm monogamous but my kid has 2 sets of parents, because he's adopted; my best friend is monogamous but her older kid as 2 dads--her bio dad and her new stepdad, while her new baby only has 1. My parents have been old-fashioned-married for 50 years, and my aunt who lived with us when I was growing up was a third parent to me.

People seem to be fine with almost any parenting arrangement as long as none of the adults are getting laid in an unconventional way. *sigh*

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

Also being monogamous isn't the same thing as having only 2 parents per kid. Particularly if you're serially monogamous.

Right. Whenever folks complain about things they see as "alternative arrangements," they appear to be comparing them to the nonexistent Completely Stable Heterosexual Marriage For Life.

Utterly absurd.

[sysrae.livejournal.com]

Awesome article! I didn't read the comments. It was just nice to read by itself.

[fledgist.livejournal.com]

The moment I see 'think of the children', I know the person saying it is an idiot.

[fledgist.livejournal.com]

An important point. I'm monogamous too, but when we went to see my younger son at college last autumn -- for parent's weekend -- I did notice one of his teachers looked a bit oddly at us when she realised that he had three parents in the classroom.

[serge-lj.livejournal.com]

Or they are the same hypocrites full of you-know-what who decried Bill Clinton's behavior while they were doing things that are truly reprehensible.

[fledgist.livejournal.com]

That's the nature of the problem in a nutshell.

[elisem.livejournal.com]

Not a bad article. Thanks!

I read 28 pages or so of comments. Yeah, there are a lot of "this is unbiblical" and "God says this is immoral and unacceptable" and "you people are unable to commit, and just want to satisfy your lusts" and all that, which gets wearing after a while. There are also a few people saying "Interesting," or "Yeah, I know people like this," or "Yeah, I am people like this." It's the usual. (Been seeing this for decades. The arguments stay pretty much the same over time.)

Actually, the whole thing makes me miss Mike. But then, I was just at Boskone, where Mike and I used to go together, and that's probably part of why I miss him so much. Juan misses him a lot too.

We had thirteen years together. That's a lot more than a lot of people get. And he and Juan were, while not involved with one another "that way," really good to each other. They cared about each other a lot. (And now I'm thinking of them each scouting out and recommending gifts I might want to give the other one for various holidays, and getting all sniffly.)

I miss having both of my John M. Ponytails, as I used to call them collectively....

[mirrorshard.livejournal.com]

It is rather a good article, and it's refreshing to see one that's not just poly-positive, but nonprescriptive too.

I've been helping my girlfriend's husband mend their fence recently, and install a proper gate. The metaphor is really quite blatant.

[marydell.livejournal.com]

I think of you often when I'm missing my "other mom," Mickey, who wasn't really my aunt but lived with my family from the time I was 6 years old, and was more of a hands-on mom to me than my actual mom. She died a few years ago and part of what complicates grieving is that the relationship doesn't fall into a common social category. So talking about her, or about her death, always involves some kind of explanation or defense of our relationship, which is tiring and upsetting - the conversation becomes "let me explain/justify my weird family" instead of "let me share my struggle."

[elisem.livejournal.com]

Oh, that makes a lot of sense. Yes.

(There's a thing is that which rather reminds me of Jo Walton's book-to-come, too, where a character does not talk about a lot of her past because to do so will mean talking about someone who's dead, and she isn't up for all the explanations that will necessitate.)

"Yeah, there are a lot of 'this is unbiblical' "

[asyouknow-bob.livejournal.com]

Hilariously, polygamy is pretty much REQUIRED in the Old Testament....

Re: "Yeah, there are a lot of 'this is unbiblical' "

[marydell.livejournal.com]

Polygyny, yes, polyandry, not so much. And polyandry seems like it would be much more fun. Um, for me, anyway. I'm not good at sharing ;)

[princessofg.livejournal.com]

thanks for the article. fascinating.