Feb. 12th, 2011

marydell: My hand holding a medusa head sculpture (by me) that's missing its snakes (Default)
Even though Charlie is not unwell today, he has designated today as an official Mommy mommy mommy mommy oh god don't leave me mommy mommy day.

Apparently he didn't get the memo that this was already designated as a Mommy gets to take a break day.

On the other hand, he is fine with me doing my own thing as long as I stay near him, so I've been able to read a lot of Among Others while he plays choo-choos and whatnot. And we have hopes that he will be able to let me out of his sight later when Mike's brother will be coming over to help entertain him.

What's funny is that part of me craves exactly this--the whole obliteration of my own identity into mommyhood--at the same time as knowing it's unhealthy and that the lack of me-time is making me cranky and depressed. I don't know if this is because of infertility and all that time spent yearning for a child, or if its that I'm ambivalent about the rest of my identity (writer-artist-survivor of various things) and would rather shelve it in favor of mommyhood, which I have fairly simple feelings about.

April 2013

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