- Russian men are usually named Sergey.
- If you have a deadly virus, you need to take a vaccine. The vaccine will reverse the progression of the virus and make you well again.
- Adults who have no living family members also have no friends.
- If you are a broke person or one who who lives on the fringes of society, you will have to settle for living in a 4000 square foot loft.
- If a car is empty, you can blow it up without attracting the attention of the police.
- Strange dogs that follow you are friendly and free of rabies.
Charlie: *buries face in mattress*
Me: Come on honey, it's morning.
Me: *turns on light*
Charlie: EeeeeEEEEeeeeeEEE! WANT DARK WANT DARK!
Me: *turns out light*
Charlie: *buries face in matttress*
Mike: Charlie, I've got a ba-ba for you. Want ba ba?
Charlie: *squeezes eyes shut while shaking head* NO!
Me: Mike, how about I go pack lunch, while you turn on your favorite TV show.
Mike: You mean the one about the steam engine?
(Mike and I repair to the front room and the kitchen, respectively)
TV: doo do do do do do do [Thomas The Suck Uppy Tank Engine theme music]
Charlie: *running* To-nas! To-nas! hooray, To-nas!
Also the Gou'ald were the best teevee SF villains ever.
Anyway, stuff that bugged me this time around:
Flagg and co decide to set up in Las Vegas, a place with no natural resources. Where are they getting their food and water? imported from Boulder, perhaps? Note: movie Mordor has this same problem.
The dude who isn't Larry and isn't the old fella tells the Vegas-ites that Flagg is an "apostate of Hell." wouldn't that make Flagg...an angel? Or at least not as bad as a Hell-loyalist.
Molly Ringwald's baby has the flu and is expected to die, so she and Stu sit in the waiting room making plans for her NEXT baby. CREEPY. When the baby pulls through, everyone is happy and they show it by standing outside the nursery and looking through the glass at the baby. At no point do we see anyone hold the baby, and in fact the only person who even talks to the baby is a ghost.
If you make your stand so people can witness you making a stand, and all the witnesses die, did you really Stand?
However. Season 8 does not keep up with the usual level of smart writing, at least not in the overall plotty thing. It has this ongoing villain group called Nightingale, that is up to shadowy unknown stuff, and is being handled SO stupidly they might as well call it KAOS and be done with it.
"Did you check out that secret Nightingale meeting that we heard about?"
"I asked a couple of questions and the meeting definitely occurred, and we know where. But that's all I know about it after several weeks, despite having a small army of agents at my disposal who have, in previous seasons, done stuff like made contact with a dude while he was hiding out in an airmail crate on a moving truck. Let's continue to mention this secret meeting in every episode of the season."
"Look, on the TV! That's the new head of security for [unstable country!]"
"Gosh, look on my computer! My 3-day effort to decrypt a Nightingale memory stick just completed this minute, and popped up a photo of that dude on the TV!"
"He's Nightingale's man! They must be trying to destabilize [unstable country!]"
"This random act of violence doesn't seem all that random."
"Do you think it's....Nightingale?"
They haven't had an actual nightingale bird fly in the window and land on an MP's shoulder yet, but I expect that at any moment.
Meanwhile, when bad guys are selecting a London school to target, what is the likelihood that one of the adorable children playing on the school steps is the son of one of the show's lead characters? 100%, naturally. When the bad guys are thwarted several hours later, will the same children still be playing on the school steps? Does one even need to ask?
Roger Ebert's Movie Glossary calls this The Law of Economy of Characters.
However, I have netflix waiting on the TeeVee with lovely Rupert Penry Jones in MI-5/Spooks, and I have some safely boring guacamole (no jalapeno in this brand, oddly) and more corn chips to keep me company along with it, so all shall be well.
2. Tom Barnaby is the WORST detective ever! His method is pretty much this: show up after murder, wander around asking questions and picking up twigs and having a pint. Then talk to Joyce (wife), who will say something in passing that is the key to solving the murder. Ignore Joyce's info because of distraction and workaholism; go to work and hang about until someone else gets murderd. Pick up more twigs. Happen to find an object of significance among the twigs, preferably an object emblazoned with the killer's initials or some other pointer to who owns it. Take Cully (daughter) to lunch or something. Have a brainstorm in the middle of lunch, call Joyce, and say "what was that vital clue I ignored you saying earlier?" Once Joyce explains slowly and carefully, figure out who the murderer is and run off, leaving Cully in the middle of lunch. Make sure not to say "Cully, I have to go catch a murderer who's getting ready to kill some guy in the cow byre right this second" because then she might not be mad at you for leaving her at lunch, and then she would not be able to do her exasperated sigh. Anyway, run off to cow byre or whatever location your intuition and Joyce's actual useful info have directed you to; save next victim from murderer just in the nick of time. When interrogating murderer, show them object you found among the twigs in order to elicit a confession. Which will totally work.
(spoilers for Kings Crystal. Also Hamlet)
1. Show, dear show, if you are going to have a murder mystery plot arranged so that every single thing parallels the action in Hamlet, it will not be mysterious to anyone who is familiar with Hamlet. The conclusion, in fact, will feel strangely familiar to many viewers. "Ok, Hamlet-guy turns out to be the one who killed Polonius-guy, after acting all crazy in a conversation with Polonius-guy's daughter. Couldn't see that one coming. Everybody used poison for something or other, huh, that's reminding me of some play or other. What about the uncle guy who married the widowed mom? He did, in fact, kill his brother, father of Hamlet-guy, whose last name was, incidentally, King? Ok, well, that certainly wasn't predictable. Good thing the B story in this episode was about Cully being in a production of Hamlet and we managed to see them rehearsing all the relevant parts, or I would never have gotten any of those subtle allusions.
I mean, seriously, if I lived in one of those villages and someone got murdered, I would hie me up to London to be safe from all the murdering until Barnaby was well out of the area.
3. How many goddamn villaiges can there be in one county?
Those aside, I do adore the show and wish it was on a channel near me. Right now I'm watching series 10 that I bought on Amazon, so that will keep me happy for now, as long as they don't do another Shakespeare episode.
Anyway, generally we enjoy the show and it's free from the annoying lesson-slinging of Chuggington (one repeated lesson from Chuggington: when you ignore your orders and fuck up, get your friends to help fix it, and then the authority types won't have to find out. W. TF.) and don't even get me started about Ni-Hao Kai Lan; they seriously added extra chairs to MUSICAL FUCKING CHAIRS y'all, so nobody would be left out. No I am not kidding.
Ok so today we're watching Little Bear fly a kite. And he imagines the kite going all over the world. So then we see what he imagines (it's like Scrubs, only with bears and ducks etc.). Kite goes to France-looking place, and children look up at it and wave. Kite goes to Africa-looking place and...animals look up at it. OH COME ON NOW! Finally it goes to China (Great Wall, check) and encounters a fancy Chinese kite, without seeing anyone flying it. End of fantasy.
So: France, people; Africa, animals; China, uh...manufactured paper arts?
Anyway, I note with amusement that, as in other 19th century tales, people die suddenly of no apparent cause; succumbing, I assume, to a lethal case of narrative convenience. [highlight to read spoiler: a crying baby actually expires at the exact moment that a character says "do you want us to get a doctor for the baby?" This is not the only example] No-one has fallen down insensible on a moor in a storm yet, but I'm only one episode in, and characters have been shown gazing out of windows, so I assume that's coming up shortly.